


I'll Tell You What Real Love Is

by ifonlylifewereimmortal



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is horrible at all of it, Alternate Universe, Baker Magnus Bane, Bakery, But still can't cook, F/M, Fluff, I don't know how to tag so I'm just going to add ish onto the end of everything, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Izzy can bake!, M/M, Modern Setting, Nothing too explicit, angst (ish), ish, slow burn?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-04 01:50:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14582283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifonlylifewereimmortal/pseuds/ifonlylifewereimmortal
Summary: Alec Lightwood works at a bakery with his siblings, making delicious treats and trying to figure out the mess that his life has become. He is also hopelessly in love with his boss, Magnus Bane, but that's besides the point, thank you very much. There are just two problems: 1) Magnus doesn't know about Alec's feelings and 2) Alec cannot actually bake.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a cute little one-shot. I don't really know what it is now, but I'm excited to be working on it.

“ Then I'm sorry to say, I've eat your pie.”

_        - Great Expectations _ , Charles Dickens  

* * *

 Alec was used to feeling like he didn’t belong. As a gay man who wanted to be a writer, who came from a conservative family that wanted him to be a businessman, he was really no stranger to not fitting in. Still, it was getting harder and harder to pretend that The Quite Magical Bakeshop was the place for him. Worse, it was getting harder and harder to pretend that leaving wouldn't break his heart.

“Morning big brother,” his sister, Isabelle Lightwood, cheered as Alec walked through the bakery’s backdoor and into the kitchen. It was only five-thirty, but the back of the shop was already full of motion, most of the store’s employees working hard in preparation for the day. Alec was the last one there, excluding the owner, Magnus Bane. 

“Hey Izzy. Jace. Shortstop.” Clary Fray, the tiny redhead who Alec used to intensely dislike and was now reluctantly fond of, opened her mouth to argue against the nickname, but Alec silenced her with a look. She was using a step stool to reach the counter where she was currently making hand pies, after all. 

“It’s not Clary’s fault this kitchen was made for giants,” Jace Herondale, Alec’s best, friend retorted. Jace was annoyingly infatuated with Clary, but the two had some ugly history, and she was making him work for a second chance. His best friend was trying hard, but Alec knew better than anyone that Jace could sometimes be an ass. Still, it was difficult to deny the look of adoration Jace gave Clary, or the small smile she gave in return. 

“Where do you guys want me?” Alec asked. The three bakers looked at each other cautiously and Alec rolled his eyes. This was getting ridiculous. “I can start arranging the display case?” 

His suggestion was met with a series of nods and exclamations of approval from his coworkers, so he grabbed the nearest tray of scones and moved out to the front of the shop.

“I hope he doesn’t drop those. They’re a new recipe that I really want customers to try out,” he heard Izzy mutter as he left the kitchen.

“Come on. You know why he did it last time,” Jace responded. 

“I know. That’s why I’m worried. The boss isn’t here yet.” Alec rolled his eyes at them. He had a college degree; he could put some baked goods in a glass case. 

Still, Alec did understand their concern because Alec, if he was being honest with himself, was a mess in the kitchen. He could barely boil water, didn’t know much more about seasoning besides a vague understanding of the concept of salt, and had a talent for making things that were both burnt and raw. 

He only got the job because Izzy, who was an expert cake maker, and Jace, who could perfect basically any pastry, vouched for him. Clary had come after Alec, when Magnus had needed someone to replace him as decorator after he decided to open a second store. 

Logically, it should have been Alec who took that spot, but he was even worse at decorating than he was at baking. 

So yeah, Alec knew he was a fairly sizeable liability at the bakery, and the only reason he still worked there was because Magnus was way too nice of a person to let him go, but he was a grown man, and he could place things in a display, god dammit.

* * *

“The cake pops are backwards,” a voice said right next to his ear, and the only reason Alec didn’t drop anything was because at the moment he had nothing in this hands. That being said, he did jump a bit at the noise and knocked over one of the chalkboard signs  sitting on the counter that showed that days special.  _ Pretty Boy Praline Cookies _ .

“Sorry,” Alec said sheepishly, a blush appearing on his face as he bent down to fix the aforementioned cake pops. He wasn’t sure if the heat in his cheeks was because of his mistake or the man who had pointed it out. Probably both, but probably mostly Mangus.

Honestly, it really wasn’t his fault. Magus was just the most attractive person he had ever met. Plus, he was a ridiculously talented baker. If anyone tasted one of Magnus’s  profiteroles and did not fall in love with him, then they were lying to themselves. Or dead. 

Of course, Alec was being totally hypocritical with that thought, because he spent ninety-five percent of his days pretending that he didn’t feel anything for his boss. It was a losing battle, but Alec had always been a diligent soldier. 

“No worries, we’ve still got plenty of time before opening.” That was a lie. They only had forty-five minutes and the display case was barely two-thirds full. “I’m just going to pop in the kitchen really quick to make sure everything is good, and then I’ll be back to help you. You’re doing great.” Also a lie.

And, Alec most definitely was not lying by saying that he did not choke at the wink Magnus threw his way before departing, nor did he stare at Magnus from behind as he walked away. Most definitely not. 

* * *

Alec grabbed two cups of coffee and stole a few sandwiches from the kitchen before approaching Magnus’s office. He knocked at the doorway, but didn’t bother pausing before going in. Magnus had a strict open door policy and Alec had been spending his lunch breaks with Magnus for months now.

“Alexander,” Magnus exclaimed, looking up from the pile of documents on his desk. “Come sit.” Perhaps Alec was biased, but he couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful than Magnus smiling up at him.

“What are you up to?” Alec asked, though he didn’t really need to. He knew exactly what the papers Magnus was rifling through meant, but Magnus didn’t know he knew. If that made any sense at all.

“Just trying to see where I can cut costs. I want to hire more bakers, especially for the new shop, but funds are a little too tight right now.”  _ You could fire me _ , Alec thought, but he wouldn’t dare voice that idea, just as he knew Magnus would not even entertain it. 

So, instead he said, “Well, do you have time for a sandwich? I can bet you haven’t eaten today.”

“That’s not true,” Magnus corrected as Alec placed the food on the desk: turkey for Alec, mediterranean veggie for Magnus. The bakery owner was vegetarian on the weekdays and avoided red meat most of the time, except for when he treated himself with a perfectly cooked steak. 

“Okay, what did you have?” Alec didn’t think the words Magnus and sheepish could ever be associated with each other, but Magnus did manage to look slightly apologetic as he gave his answer. 

“One of Clary’s turtle sundae cookies.”

“So nutritious,” Alec teased, pulling a couple of sugar packets out of his pocket. Alec lived on black coffee; Magnus thought it was a sin. 

“Hey, I’m a busy man Alexander. Besides, have you seen those things? Clary makes them big enough to feed a family of four. Though they’re so good I would never share one.” Alec laughed, knowing how Magnus was with his sweets, but just shrugged his shoulders. 

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Oh that’s right,” Magnus sighed, “you don’t like chocolate. How you’re related to Isabelle, I’ll never understand.”

“Trust me, I sometimes wonder that too. She’s definitely the better sibling.” Magnus shook his head, almost… sadly?

“I’m not too sure about that,” Magnus joked, but the sentence lost any sort of humor half way through. Magnus did that sometimes; he would become suddenly serious, weighed down by thoughts that seemed to rush into him all at once. Alec knew that Magnus had had a tough life; it was right there in the bakery’s mission statement.  _ After running away at 15, all I had wanted was somewhere where I could find comfort, somewhere that felt like home. Now that I found that place, I want to share it with you. Welcome to my home -- our home _ . He knew that Magnus was harrassed for his clothing and his sexuality. He knew that Magnus had been through a lot more than his boss had yet to let on. Usually, those hardships were hidden on Magnus’s face. The bakery owner was often energetic, with a huge smile and a teasing attitude. It was only in quiet moments when Magnus thought no one was looking, or moments like these when he, for some reason, was willing to share a little bit of his soul, that Magnus let his guard down.

Alec wished Magnus would be more open with him -- he wanted to learn everything about the man- but he never pushed. For one, Alec had enough secrets of his own, but mostly Alec never pushed because he couldn’t stand the thought of making Magnus uncomfortable or sad. 

“I’ll be sure to tell Izzy that,” Alec laughed, trying to lighten the mood (while also being unable to accept the compliment, but that was besides the point). 

“I’m sure she’ll agree with me,” Magnus said with a small smirk, not quite able to shake off the serious atmosphere. Finally, he relented to Alec’s efforts. “Expect, of course, in terms of fashion. She’d happily agree that her fashion sense exceeds yours tenfold.” Alec chuckled, not bothering to deny the dig. His fashion could be summed up in two words: black and jeans. The two of them ate in silence. It was comfortable, as always, but as his break wrapped up Alec realized that something was still bothering Magnus. There was a heavy look in his eyes and a tense set to his shoulders. 

“Is everything okay Magnus?” Alec asked softly. He was gentle, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. He never quite knew where Magnus and he stood. Their whole relationship left him a little breathless -- and not just because his boss was the definition of gorgeous. 

“Just some business issues. Nothing you need to be worried about, and nothing I need to be worried about really. It’s just adding a little extra stress.” Alec nodded, letting the subject go. His gut told him there was something more, but his mind told him to quit now before he said something stupid. 

“Just remember, I’m always here, if you need to talk” he said, before correcting himself.  _ Stupid _ . “We’re all here. Jace, Clary, Izzy, and I.”

“Of course, Alexander. Of course.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darling, what is the most important thing in the world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is out a little later than expected because the mid-season finale killed me a little bit. Kudos to all the amazing writers who came up with wonderful codas and fix-it-fics to the finale. I wasn't able to even string words together for a couple of days. But, finally, here it is. There's a lot of information in this chapter, but I hope you enjoy.

“Max called today,” Izzy said as they were wiping down counters. Post-service cleaning was probably the one thing Alec could do without any problems -- he cleaned when he was nervous, so he had plenty of practice. 

“When?” Alec asked, trying not to let any disappointment seep into his voice. Phone calls from his little brother were few and far between. After everything that went down, the Lightwood parents weren’t keen to let their youngest talk to their biggest screw-up: Alec.  _ Heavy is the head that wears the crown _ , Izzy used to say. Alec had lost the crown months ago, but the weight didn’t disappear; it just transferred to his shoulders. 

“While you were on break. I wanted to go get you, but Max could only talk for a few minutes. He borrowed someone’s phone before debate practice. Dad still has his.” Alec didn’t regret much about the blowout between him and his parents, but the effects it had on Max’s life continued to fill him with guilt.

“What did he say, anything important?” Izzy looked reluctant to answer. Alec, for his part, was finding it a little difficult to breathe. His sister loved to gossip, especially about their not-so-lovely-parents. A lack of excitement to talk shit could only mean one thing: bad news. 

“Mom and dad are getting a divorce.”  _ What _ . Out of all the things Izzy could have said, Alec would never had guessed that. Robert and Maryse Lightwood did not have the perfect marriage -- in fact it was one of the most messed up relationships Alec had ever seen. Robert had been cheating with his secretary for years, and Maryse spent more time at the office than home. Still, there was one thing that was more important than happiness, compatibility, or even functionality -- the Lightwood name. Alec had almost sacrificed everything to uphold that name, so it was a little jarring to know that his parents were willingly doing something that would so quickly destroy it.

“Why now?” Alec asked, voicing his confusion. “They haven’t been able to stand each other for years.”  He worked hard to keep his voice down, recognizing that they were still in a public space and Magnus was in his office, but honestly he was getting a little pissed. When he was little Maryse used to sit him down and ask him,  _ Darling, what is the most important thing in the world? _ And Alec would say family, because even then he knew he would do whatever it took to protect his little sister who he loved with all his heart. And Maryse would seem somewhat content with his answer, until Robert would come up behind her and say,  _ not just our family, our name _ . Together with their children Maryse Lightwood, a business mogul, and Robert Lightwood, a rising politician, would be unstoppable -- if everyone in the family sacrificed everything they had for the cause.  

Izzy had run away when she was 16. She thought the only reason her parents hadn’t dragged her back kicking and screaming was that she agreed to no longer use the Lightwood name, choosing to call herself Isabelle Sophia instead. In reality, Alec had convinced his parents that she was worthless and that she was only bringing down the family name. He promised to graduate college in two years instead of four and devote all his free time to Maryse's business. He would follow the plan that was laid out for him -- seven years at the family company, and then a jump into politics just like his old man -- and start dating Lydia Branwell, a politician's daughter. Miraculously they listened to him and let Izzy be. Alec had never been more relieved, or more devastated. Up until eight months ago, Alec had not spoken to his sister since she ran away. It was forbidden. And, well Max now had some freedom to talk to his siblings because he was at a boarding school, Alec had been under constant supervision. It didn’t help that Izzy had somehow heard about all the terrible things Alec had said and thought he had meant them. 

It was more than a little awkward when he had shown up at her doorsteps four years later, eyes red from crying and Jace by his side, looking for a place to stay. 

So yeah, he had been through hell to please his parents and keep his siblings safe. He didn’t like to think that soon his hard work could have been for nothing.

“The press got wind of dad’s affair. Then, apparently, Luke got sent a recording of mom saying, ‘I’d divorce him in a second if it wasn’t for the god damn bad publicity’ and while Luke decided to still publish it, he gave mom a heads up.” Luke was the head editor at one of New York’s bigger papers. He and Maryse used to be close, until she met Robert. 

“If they don’t get out ahead of this thing, Robert will have no chance at becoming speaker of the house,” Alec mused.

“And mom will lose a ton of donors and sponsors,” Izzy added. It all made sense, and it was really sort of funny. The one thing that his parents had always been afraid of -- dirty secrets being exposed to the public -- was happening; Alec just wasn’t the cause of it like they thought he would be. 

“Shit.” Alec said, thinking the word summed up the situation very nicely. “Shit”

* * *

As caught up with his family’s drama as he was, it took Alec an embarrassingly long time to realize that the mood Magnus had been the last time they had lunch hadn’t gone away, and instead had gotten worse. Three weeks after hearing about the divorce saw Alec at the bakery earlier than usual, unable to sleep. He had expected to find the place empty. Instead, he was met with the sight of his boss hammering a nail into the wall, tongue poked out in concentration. It was kind of … adorable.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Magnus jumped upon hearing Alec’s question, a testament to how absorbed the baker was in his task.

“Alexander,” Magnus smiled, seeming happy to see Alec, but deeply tired. His boss’s face, usually covered with beautiful makeup, was mostly bare, with only a thin line of eyeliner on his upper lids. Dark circles sat underneath his eyes, but they didn’t make him any less gorgeous. They just made him lot softer, in a way.

The defeated look on Magnus’s face, however, was troubling, as was the hole in the wall that Magnus had previously been hiding with his body until he turned to face Alec. 

“There’s a hole in the wall. And your hand is bleeding. And you’re holding a picture of a cupcake?” And okay, he definitely should have been able to put all the the pieces together, but it was just after four in the morning, and Alec found it hard to think straight around Magnus on a good day. 

“Yeah…” Magnus took a deep breathe and then let it out all at once. “Some asshole company is buying up all the properties around here and they won’t get off my back even though I’ve said no a hundred times. Fucking Camille is back, and I know I haven’t told you about her but let me tell you now: she’s a fucking trip. The economy is shit and I can’t afford to have so many employees, but the thought of firing any of you makes me sick. Also, you’ve been sad the last couple weeks -- don’t think I haven’t notice -- and I hate it.” Magnus, energetic as always, ranted with his hands, which, while incredibly endearing, was only making the cuts and scrapes on his knuckles bleed more.

“Magnus, you --”

“There’s just so much going on, and I can’t do anything about anything. I --”

“Mangus!” Alec flinched at the panicked look in his boss’s eye, but at least Magnus had stopped moving. He hadn’t, however, stopped talking.

“Crap. Crap. Crap. I can’t believe I just told you all of that. Way too much information, Cat doesn’t even know. And you’re already dealing with the divorce. Shit!” Alec, who had begun to move toward Magnus with his hands up like his boss was a wounded animal, paused.

“Wait, you know about the divorce?” Magnus rolled his eyes and even though it was at his expense, Alec was glad to see a little bit of the Magnus he knew coming back. 

“Yes. You and Izzy were discussing it, not so quietly, in the middle of the bakery.” Alec could feel his blush move down his neck. A strange look passed across Magnus’s face, his eyes slightly glazed, but he quickly shook it off. “But that’s not the point. I’m sorry to have unloaded all of that on you.” Alec smiled sadly.

“It’s no problem at all. You can talk about it if you want.”

“I don’t want to.” And wow, it took everything he had not to wrap his arms around Magnus and press a kiss to the baker’s forehead. Magnus always smelled like vanilla and cinnamon. Alec wondered how he would taste…. 

“At least tell me what happened here,” Alec said, gesturing to the hole in the wall while turning to get the first aid kit out of its cupboard. 

“Oh, um, I got mad, and I punched a hole in the wall. But then I didn’t want anyone to know that I punched a hole in the wall, so I was going to cover it up with this charming, but horrendous picture of a cupcake that I shoved in the bottom of my desk drawer after my friend Ragnor gave it to me as a gag gift.”  _ So,  _ Alec noted,  _ Magnus talks a lot when he’s upset _ . Naturally, that was the complete opposite of Alec’s coping method. This was the most he had talked at one time since hearing about his parents divorce.

“And then I showed up and ruined it all?” Alec joked, but it didn’t even draw a smile out of Magnus. In fact, his boss just stopped talking all together, but kept opening his mouth like he wanted to say something. Alec, deciding to give Magnus some time, gestured to a stool for his boss to sit and get his hand bandaged. 

Touching Magnus proved ridiculously difficult for Alec. Magnus’s hands were soft, but strong, and the baker’s scent was overwhelming this close. Alec was having trouble breathing, thinking, existing. All he knew was that he never wanted to let go of Magnus’s hand.

When Alec was almost done, Magnus chose to speak. 

“Normally, I don’t just unload all of my problems on my employees, Alexander. It’s just something about you makes me want to open up to you. You’ve unlocked something inside of me. But, I just can’t explain everything right now.” Alec froze, Magnus’s words overwhelming his brain. He knew, logically, that Magnus’s words were a conformation that Alec wasn’t the only one feeling something  _ more _ between them. He also knew that now was not the time, so he chose his next words carefully.

“Talk when you’re ready. I’m always here to listen.” Magnus smiled. It was then that Alec noticed their hands were still touching. Actually, Magnus had shifted so it was more like they were holding hands.  _ They were holding hands _ . “Also,” Alec added, “if you have too many employees, we both know I’m useless here. You could just let me go.” 

“No, I couldn’t Alexander. No, I couldn’t.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for reading my works -- please let me know what you think!


End file.
